Whats in a Name Anyway? Well, A Great Deal Unfortunately!


Hi, umm, Dick….

Who would name their kid “Dick?”

No offense to any Dicks out there, but wouldn’t it have been better if your parents had named you almost anything else?

I worked as a temp with a guy named Dick for a while. Every time I called his name I felt uncomfortable, like I was being mean. He was a super nice guy who I’m sure was teased relentlessly as child.

Poor kid. It’s as bad as going by “Balls.”

“Hi. My name is Balls,” He could say.

Or, how about this? Maybe his name would be Scrotum and the nickname would be balls. I’d prefer Scrotumus, scrotumusjpegthough, because it sounds more gladiator.

How about Scrotumasaurus Rex? I think I could name a kid Scrotumasaurus. It’s a unisex name so it could work for a son or daughter.

There’s other anatomical names that people give their kids. Colon is one. Tush is another and that one makes me snicker.

Named for the Bowel

Named for the Bowel

I once knew a guy named Rod but I think that’s kind of cool, sexy even. If there isn’t one already there should be a porn actor going by “Rod Masterson.” It sort of tells what he’s working with and gives the impression that he’s skilled with it.

For you business types out there; please be careful in naming your products. For instance, there’s long been a condom called “Magnum.” There’s also an ice cream bar going by the same name.


Remember, Ice Cream is not Contraception…

I hope no one gets confused. But with all of the abstinence only sex education of the last several years, anything is possible. Please remember that ice cream does not prevent pregnancy or the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. I’m sure some of you are reading that for the first time.

Oh, and apparently the cashier at the convenience store has decided my name is now “baby.”

I would have preferred something cool like “Destroyer of Worlds.”

Aww... isn't Cthulhu the cutest?

Aww… isn’t Cthulhu the cutest?

I guess you can’t have everything.

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