The first rule of Chindogu is, Chindogu inventions are essentially useless. The Japanese art of creating bizarre and funny tools for everyday life aims to solve basic problems in ways that are as impractical as possible. To qualify as Chindogu, these inventions can never be patented or sold, but they must exist in physical form, and, as rule #2 states, the creator must be able to hold them in his or her hand and think “I can actually imagine someone using this. Almost.”
It’s a tie. It’s an umbrella. It’s going to put a bit of strain on your neck, but the security of knowing you’ll never mess up your hair in the rain will make it all worthwhile.
No need to worry about slumping over and drooling on a stranger if you fall asleep on the train or subway. The Train Nap Cap uses a suction cup attached to a hat to hold your head upright.
Isn’t it annoying when you’ve got a drippy nose, and you have to constantly wipe it? The Toilet Roll Hat takes care of that problem, keeping wipes right where you need them. For those times when you’re so sick, you don’t care that you’ve got a roll of toilet paper on your head.
Need to clean up a small mess? Slip on a special pair of ‘sweep shoes‘, with broom and dust pan attached. The logical next step (if logic can be applied to Chindogu) would be to take the dustpan shoe off the dump its contents, but it’s more fun to imagine the wearer contorting in ballet-like movements to empty it into the trash.
Don’t you hate it when you’re consuming ramen with the fervor of a starving, rabid beast and hot broth splashes up into your hair? And then you walk around smelling like ramen. Well, the Splash Mask will take care of that problem.
Since you’re too lazy to use a real napkin anyway, you might as well spare your pants the grease marks and get yourself a pair of classy Napkin Pants.
Don’t cut your own fingertips off when you could sacrifice someone else’s.
If your aim is lacking badly enough that you can’t handle administering eye drops to yourself, these funnel glasses will make the process idiot-proof.
You can almost hear an infomercial excitedly telling you that you’ll never break another nail. Need to peel an orange? Open a letter? Pierce someone’s jugular? Why carry around ice picks or letter openers when you can wear a Halloween prop?
Here’s an invention that’s truly almost useful – can’t you imagine needing something like this when camping, for example? The spoon extends so you can reach the bottom of a tall jar.
Wearing these earrings might just serve as a warning to those around you that if they start to bore you with their irritating stories or demands that you file those TPS reports right away, you can block them out within seconds.
The Chopsticks Fan: because sometimes, you really just can’t wait for your food to cool down to a temperature that won’t burn the skin off the roof of your mouth.
To smear butter on a piece of toast, you could simply peel back the wrapper a little bit, and voila. You’ve got a butter stick. Or, you could put it in a totally unnecessary plastic tube that pushes the butter up like lip balm.
Perhaps this is the alternative to the Toilet Roll Hat: plugs for your nostrils.
What do babies do, anyway? They just lay around and get bodily fluids all over every surface in the house. Make them earn their keep with the Baby Mop. Maybe they’ll at least clean up their own messes while they’re crawling around looking for things to destroy.
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