Brutally Honest Alcohol Labels. Hilarious

There should be truth in advertising and branding, especially when it comes to alcoholic beverages… Remember, In vino veritas…

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BE ADVISED. Whiskey should not taste like candy… When it does, horrible things begin to happen. Whiskey should be enjoyed, sipped for its flavor; It should be savored. When you turn whiskey into a high octane candied drink it will be gulped and slurped in large quantities at a high rate. This could cause all sorts of unintended consequences.

Ahh, Jagermeister… The name translates literally as “master of hunters” in english. The liqueur is made with a blend of 56 fruits and spices and it has been said that a measure of Jager can help to relieve digestional discomfort after a large meal (it does taste a bit like medicine). Be aware that, as with all medicines, exceeding the recommended dosage may lead to vomiting…

Jack Daniels
When you see someone drinking the hard stuff fast, it likely means that they’re making an effort to quiet a few of the thoughts running through their head. Be aware that Jack, when consumed in quantity, does little to settle one down. It is more likely that calling that ex that you broke it off with six months ago will begin to sound like a good idea…

Patron Tequila
Tequila, in any form, is the best potion for lowering inhibitions that man has yet devised. After a few shots of this one is willing to do anything with gusto.

Malibu Rum
This is no ordinary rum… It’s coconut flavored and full of sugar. Pouring this toxic liquor into a glass with diet coke completely defeats the purpose. Also, the hangovers are the worst.

White Wine
It is acceptable for a man to drink red wine on certain occasions. PLEASE BE ADVISED: It is never acceptable for a man to drink white wine. It may induce tears in the imbiber, which is completely unacceptable in manhood. Unless, of course, you’re Irish…

BE Warned: Unless you’re Russian, vodka is reserved for women and frat boys. Vodka shots and bombs bring women together (usually in the bathroom holding each others hair.

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