Baltimore Man Attacked With Mace! No, Not The Spray Kind. WTF Is Wrong With People?


A man was assaulted by a mace-wielding attacker in Patterson Park last Thursday, police have confirmed.  Not the burn-your-eyes kind of mace either, but the cave-your-skull-in, Braveheart kind of medieval weapon.


Patterson Park is a lovely urban green space in Baltimore City.  The Park contains several play area, ball fields, and even a stocked fishing pond.  You might have seen images of it’s iconic pagoda, like this one from wikipedia:

It also appears to be a place for fairly aggressive LARP’ing…

Sgt. Jarron Jackson of the Baltimore Police Department’s Public Information Office said that on Thursday, July 31, at approximately 8:15 p.m., officers responded to the park in reference to an assault.  The alleged attack happened at Patterson Park, in East Baltimore.  The victim told police that he’d been sitting on the grass near a baseball field when one of the teens slugged him in the face with a mace

Jackson said that the suspects were three juveniles, one of whom hit the victim in the head with a weapon “described as a mace or a ball and chain.”  The suspects demanded the victim’s cell phone, but he got up and gave chase instead, losing them at Baltimore St.


Seriously?  A freaking mace was used in an armed robbery?  What in the name of all that is considered holy is wrong with people these days?  Look, I wasn’t the perfect teenager, but I never assaulted and/or robbed anyone. I certainly never attempted to cave someone’s skull in with a medieval weapon.  For a cell phone?  Where the hell are theses kid’s parents?

Sadly, violence like this is nothing new in Baltimore City.  A quick search revels several recent incidents such as this one, in which a cyclist was knocked off of his bicycle and beaten by a group of teens.   In response, Baltimore City has instituted a new curfew for minors, one of the strictest in the nation.  The new curfew has been called an attempt to “protect children”, but I suspect that this curfew is most likely being instituted to protect citizens and cut down on the “nuisance” crimes that these unattended minors are committing.  The Baltimore City Police Department is clearly understaffed and this curfew is certainly an attempt to relieve pressure on the department.  The ACLU has some objections about the new curfew, mostly regarding how enforcement will be handled by police.

I am not sure what the correct course of action is, but I do know that I no longer feel particularly safe in my own city…  The police seem wholly unable to protect citizens from violence, and it is simply impossible to obtain any kind of concealed weapons permit in this state.  Meanwhile, people are being attacked in our streets and parks… with maces.

Honestly, I shouldn’t have to wear chain mail while I walk my dog…


Police ask anyone with any information about the incident, which they said was isolated, to call the Detective Unit at 410-396-2422.

Share on Facebook


-We define eclectic content-
Have a similar story that you would like us to post?
Submit your story and details to: [email protected]